I've been at home for a week now. The rest of the world keeps buzzing while mine remains in matrix mode. When you normally have a structured life with work, family and friends, having limited activities after major surgery can affect you emotionally and physically. Not to mention the limited interaction with co-workers, yes....co-workers too.
Today I sit here, wondering what I will do next...will I sip, walk, burp or fart? Out of four things that I know I'm actually capable and have become in some distrubing way, very good at this past week, it is becoming somewhat boring and monotonous.
So, do I pick up the phone and call a friend, a loved one? Do I invite someone over? Unfortunately, since the high speed life they are living and are accustomed to is still buzzing around them, I don't have a chance of getting any social activity in with them. Am I being selfish to ask them to pause their life for me?
Even my loved one has forgotten that I sit alone at home, waiting for his return. Not so much to do at home, not so much excitement to share, nothing really new. The only thing I really am looking forward to every night is to have him come home to finally have someone to interact with. My son has finally returned home and that is somewhat helping, but teenagers like to sneak into their dungeon of Internet and Instant messaging. We did, however, have a good hour of discussion regarding his stay at his friends, the likes and dislikes and how happy he is to finally be home. The power of family.
In a nutshell, I feel alone, I feel bored, feel incapable of doing alot of things that I can normally do on my own. I feel like a social outcast.
Friday, November 6, 2009
Pot-Pourri of Things
Today is my Uncle Robert's birthday, Happy Birthday! He is in the hospital due to emergency surgery on Wednesday to his Kidney which was blocked and full of stones. They were able to repair the one kidney, however the second is left unrepaired as it would be to dangerous to do both at the same time. I'm saying prayers that his fever gets under control and that he can go home on his birthday. I'm sure that's what he would want right now to. I'm thinking about you Mononcle and love you very much.
Bussing Approved
I heard this morning from the schoolboard that they've approved temporary bussing for Brodie so that he can finally come home where he belongs. I'm thankful to the friends who took him in, many gratitudes to them. Just a bit of driving required from Geoff to get Brodie to the bus, but it's all worth it.
Weight at a Standstill
I was a bit dissappointed this morning when I jumped on the scale and noticed that there wasn't a difference. But then thought...holy crap girl, you've lost 24 lbs already, get a grip! So I've decided that I will only weigh myself twice per week (Mondays and Fridays). Mondays, Geoff measures me too, so we'll do everything at the same time. I have a bit more energy since yesterday which feels awesome. There is no more 'pain', just tenderness through the abdomen. Depending on the movement, I will get a sharp pinch, but with deep breaths it goes away.
Foods
I had one teaspoon of yogourt this morning and it was so yummy. I think I could have probably managed two teaspoons but thought I would wait to see how my 'pouch' responded to the new food. I felt just fine. Funny how it's a bit scary to try new foods (again). As far as this week goes, I get to eat Yogourt, unsweetened applesauce, loose mashed potatoes and loose oatmeal. Starting at one teaspoon (eating only the tip of a teaspoon at a time and making it last 20 mins) and working my way up to 2 tablespoons by the end of the week (making it last 25 mins). I must also keep my protein intake of 4 oz three times per day and 64 oz of fluids as well. Trust me, I don't feel hungry. It's mostly head hunger that I'm dealing with, cravings and wonderful smells stimulating those brain cells that say, 'I need to eat whatever it is I'm smelling'. It almost killed me to be outside and smell someone barbecuing. The cravings pass, thank God!
Today I'm planning on taking a bit longer walk down the road. It feels great to breathe in the fresh air.
Cheers
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