What does my first name mean?

As I was getting caught up on Facebook, which took maybe 5 minutes if that, I came across an application where you enter your name and apparently it gives you the real meaning of your first name.

This is what I got from the app, but as you read it, let me dissect it just a little:

Your first name of Deliska gives you an independent, serious, reticent, and studious nature.

Alright, yes my name is Deliska, I am very independent, sometimes too serious, I will admit to that.  But what the hell is reticent?  The dictionary gave me the following;  “Inclined to keep one's thoughts, feelings, and personal affairs to oneself. See Synonyms at "silent".

I am reserved, at work I rather spend my lunch at my desk or going for a walk, perusing through Facebook, checking my emails, and sometimes giving my husband, mom, sister or close friend a call.  Do I find myself “studious”, perhaps.   Anything I do, I try to give it my complete focus and attention to detail, for example my family, my cooking and baking.

An intellectual, you have a deep appreciation for art, music, literature, and all the phenomena of nature.

I would like to say that I’m a very intelligent person.  I do have appreciation for art, my husband has his Bachelor's Degree in Fine Arts.   I play the piano and guitar, have played the clarinet, saxophone and flute, xylophone and was in a band when I was a teenager.  I can’t say I love to read, but when I get a good book, I won’t put it down.  I prefer sitting outdoors when it’s beautiful out, rather than sitting indoors.  I tend to crave the fresh air and will tend to do my “walk-abouts”, checking out how my flowers are doing and watching my new bin garden flourish with vegetables.  Winter is NOT my favourite season.

You express your thoughts and feelings best through writing rather than verbally.

I love to blog when I have the time.  I, however, feel that I communicate quite efficiently with my family and friends.  Communication within my little family is the foundation that has kept us going since day one.   It has made us stronger as a family, as individuals and we effectively share our experiences, thoughts and we are comfortable discussing anything from medical issues, to sex, to everyday events.  I love that my family prefers to eat dinner all together around the dinner table.  This is the heart of our home.  This is where we share how our day went, what is new, what is coming and our challenges and accomplishments.  I look forward to eating with my family, all of them.  I miss my eldest son Zach now that he’s moved on his own.  However, he is with me in my heart everyday and I’m proud of all he’s accomplished in his life.  He has more than I did at his age, and that makes me very happy.

In fact, others find it challenging to understand you as you do not reveal your innermost thoughts unless you are completely comfortable in your friendships.

I disagree with the statement that it’s challenging to understand me as I’ve been told that I’m easily read and my face shows 100% how I’m feeling.  I’m usually pretty straight forward on how I feel about something, about someone and let them know.  However, I have very few close friendships and agree that I don’t reveal my innermost thoughts to just anyone.  I have my sister Anna and two closest friends that know pretty much everything about me.  My husband, he is my best friend, confidant and knows everything and vice versa.  Now with that said, I know I’ve shared some personal events and issues on this blog, however, there is more to me than that.  I’ve not shared my past with you, how some decisions that my parents made affected how I view religion,  on how I prefer speaking and praying directly to God rather than going to church to confess to a stranger.  Don’t get me wrong, my parents made a decision based on what they thought was something that would be good for our family.  The people who brought them into it were crooked and had very little respect for people or religion.   However, how I was raised by my awesome parents made me the mother I am today.  (Which at some point I was both parents for a long time).  Geoff has since relieved me from  having to be a ‘parent’ and now I can focus more on being a ‘mom’.  Trust me, there is a difference!  When I met Geoff he told me he wanted to know EVERYTHING about me, the good, the bad and the ugly without judgement.  He said that he wanted to know what made me who I am today. Which is a strong, independent, loving, caring and no nonsense kind of woman. 

For that reason, despite having good business abilities, you like to work alone or where you are making your own decisions.

I totally agree, as mentioned above, I prefer being on my own at work.  My manager is in Huntsville and trusts me, she knows how self-sufficient and productive I am.  With that said, when I’m at home, I prefer having my loving husband around me.  I miss him every second of the day that I’m away.  Even if we just sit there quietly and are not speaking, I still enjoy and cherish his presence.  Geoff and I work great as a team, when we are canning vegetables, making salsa, jams, etc.  We sometimes butt heads when we are building things for the home, but he’s been more welcoming to my ideas lately.  I do have very good ideas at times. I usually come up with them during my sleep.  For example, turning the old buffet hutch into a tv stand which hides all the cables, the cat stairs, our bin garden, etc.   

It has created separateness from others and loneliness in your life.

Semi agree.  My choice is to be sometimes separated from others.  Therefore, I don’t feel the loneliness.  When I need a bit of love from others, I call them up and we get together, it’s as simple as that.  Sometimes I may not see or speak with my closest friends for months, but as soon as we reconnect, it seems like we spoke yesterday.  We have busy lifestyles, being busy with family and work is in no way a form of rejection towards friends & family.

Physically, any weaknesses in your health would centre in the heart, lungs, or bronchial organs.

I've had problems with asthma in the past.  My heart had enlarged 5 times due to my thyroid being overactive.  I tend to agree.  It just doesn't mention anything about being a klutz.  :)

Finally, I want to mention that I’m exactly who I want to be.  I’m exactly where I want to be.  The silliness of ‘What does my first name mean’ is just that...silliness.  I do have to admit, their results were pretty darn close.

Cheers,

Dee :)

Struggles & Challenges

I haven't written in such a long time, but now I'm certainly ready to share some of my struggles and challenges.  As most of you who know me well, know that I'm quite the klutz.  From hurting my neck in a pool, to slipping and falling down a stairway, landing me in the hospital with a spine injury that will last me forever.  

I remember like it was yesterday when I decided to have the Gastric Bypass surgery.  It was not a light decision, but one that still as of today will never change.  

I've recently returned to the gym and am focusing once again on a healthier lifestyle.  It's amazing on how my changes have affected my family as well.  When I was cooking healthy, everyone was also healthier.  We re-introduced chips and junk food into the house and now everyone looks like they are dragging their butts!  

 I know how it was losing all the weight and I got a bit too cocky thinking that since I had the surgery, I would never regain. That's a crock of crap!  I only fooled myself!  They say re-gain of 25lbs is normal.  Which for me was okay, since I had gone through so many surgeries, I felt I was too skinny. 

I've regained 40lbs so far and am working on losing it by going back to the gym and getting back to basics on eating habits. My weight gain has been from improper eating habits, not drinking enough water, indulging into to much wine, as well as lack of exercise due to my accident back in September which injured my spine.

I know how I felt back when I was losing weight, like I was invincible, but I have to say, the surgery definitely does not make us that! It's an ongoing battle, alot of work, but with less weight, it's easier to move and keep moving.  I'm almost 4 years post op, 4 years does not remove 38 years of bad eating habits. It's always a constant struggle and the temptations  never go away. Believing in yourself and making the proper choices are the key to success in this surgery. I for one, love that I decided to have the surgery, but having the will power and the strength will always be a challenge for me and for so many more. That's why supporting each other is so important to keep up the good work. To make sure that no matter how small or big your daily accomplishments are, is as important as one who has taken on the challenge to run a marathon.

Let's support one another!  And I'm not talking about only those who have had the surgery, but those who have not and are facing the same struggles and challenges.

For you who are taking the time to read this, I'm not ashamed of regaining some weight, what I'm feeling is disappointment in myself.  The reason why I want to share, is that I don't want others to think that they may also be invisible and become cocky with this surgery.  It is a serious surgery and requires the most work and will power yet!

Please feel free to share your stories about struggles and challenges with me.

Cheers!
Dee

Trip to Jamaica

Both Geoff and I had never been on a trip to a resort, this was the first time for both of us.  Our dear friend Micheline invited us to her wedding in Jamaica.  At first Geoff and I were reluctant to go, but after discussing for a very long time, we decided that it would be the perfect 1^st year Anniversary gift to give ourselves.

June 28^th

Last minute packing, taking stuff out, putting it back in, should I bring it, shouldn’t I, did I forget something. WHOA!

Geoff finished work at 5:30 and we packed up the last minute things and drove to Ottawa.

We stayed at our friends Heidi & Lloyd’s.  They were very kind to let us sleep in their RV, so that we could depart early for our flight.  They served us a nice BBQ dinner with veggies and a little bit of wine.

June 29^th

– 3:00 am Canada Time, my cell phone wakes us.  I’m too excited to really factor in how early it is.  We make a stop at my son’s place as he will be keeping my vehicle with him while we are away.

– 7:00 am Canada Time, our flight leaves for Toronto and lands at 8:00 am

– 10:55 pm Canada Time, our flight leaves for Montego Bay

– 1:00 pm Jamaica time our plane lands in Jamaica (1 hour behind)

Welcome to Jamaica:

After a lengthy 45 minute line-up with customs then finding our luggage, we embarked on a 1 hour bus ride to the resort.  Our driver’s name is ‘The Boss’.  He drove all over the road, texting and calling his friends. He stopped at a bus stop, for what we are pretty sure was a marijuana stop.  Two yellow envelopes, he paid about $120 USD and as he drove away, he wrote names on each envelope.   At one point I thought we were going to die!  Our bus started passing a slow vehicle ahead of us, as he pulled out to oncoming traffic, I felt terrified that we were going to hit head-on.  To my surprise, all the traffic just veered off a bit onto the shoulders to let us through, he honked the horn, smiled and waved.   He must have seen my knuckles turning pure white as I held on for dear life to the seat in front of me, as he began telling us that ‘Here in Jamaica, honking is customary, it is not out of anger or rage.  There is no road rage here in Jamaica Mon.  We honk, we wave, we smile.’  I finally released my death grip and took a big breath.  It was a long drive, but didn’t really notice since I was taking in everything I saw.  What looked to me as poverty, I later found out how houses are built in Jamaica and will share with you later on.  The Boss said the most common sayings in Jamaica are ‘Yeah Mon and No Problem’.  We heard this so much, we started saying it too...why not. J

 I was culture shocked at first.  I had never seen a palm tree in real life, only on TV while watching 90210 way back when.  I was amazed on how many different types of palm trees there actually are.

We arrived at the resort around 3:00 pm Jamaica time.  The pictures really didn’t do it justice.  I was in awe!  All the hallways and lobby were completely in the open, no windows, no doors, extremely welcoming!  The rooms, however, are closed with air conditioning which was greatly appreciated while we slept.  People buzzed the hallways and laughter was heard everywhere. 

Check in was simple with the help of our Air Canada Vacations Tour Guide.  We were anxious to see our room.  Travar, the bell hopper took our luggage and helped us find our room (15311).  We unlocked the door and were very impressed.  Travar turned the TV on to the weather channel and ensured we had everything we needed.  We tipped him.  This was the beginning of many tippings.  We were quick at changing into pool side clothing so that we could go out and enjoy the rest of our day. 

After grabbing a couple of drinks from Floyd in our Bubbas, the first of many, we walked down the stairs to the pool.  The pool goes on forever and there is a bar within reach wherever you go and the best thing...all-inclusive!  We took a stroll down to the gazebo where Micheline is going to be married and wandered around to simply find out where everything was.  Geoff and I took each other’s picture by a beautiful palm tree located just beside the gazebo.

Our first dinner was at ‘The Grill’ restaurant.  We were given 4 à la carte vouchers for fine dining.  Our waiter was Alcott, a sweet man, took fantastic care of us.  We ordered the chef’s recommendation which was the surf & turf and it was amazingly good.  We knew we were eating at ‘The Grill’ again the following night.  Alcott told us that he would be there again, therefore , I requested that we get the same seating.  He responded, ‘No problem my lady’. 

Tired from a long trip, Geoff and I had a few drinks from Floyd at the lobby bar and then went to our rooms to find  lovely gifts from the resort for our 1^st anniversary (Bottle of Appleton Rum, a fruit tray and two t-shirts) on the table by the patio, then we crashed  around 9:30pm. 

Saturday July 30^th- - Monday July 2^nd:

We both slept very well.  We took our time getting up since we are on vacation.  Took our showers and started making our way down to the breakfast buffet.  We were completely amazed by the amount of food in the buffet, the variety, the presentation, it just leaves you standing there with your mouth open in disbelief.  There was a chef that was making omelettes, you pick up a plate, put on the fixings that you want in your omelette on the plate (corn, mushrooms, onions, peppers, etc) then he takes it from you and cooks your omelette Jamaican style.  He was flipping the eggs in the pan with and without a spatula, it was really cool.  Then he would sprinkle mozzarella cheese on it and fold it over...voilà, omelette in 3 minutes!!

Not yet realizing that there is a beach, Geoff and I decided to sit at the pool and get a bit of sun.  We thought that the beach is what was around the Gazebo.  We relaxed.  I can tell you that most of our vacation, we were doing the following things:  Relaxing, drinking, eating, laughing, smiling, swimming, drinking, walking, eating, drinking, walking, eating, drinking, dancing, etc. J  I suggest their Strawberry Daiquiri and the Dirty Banana!  Yummmo!!!

As Geoff goes to refill our Bubbas, he approached Floyd, sets the Bubbas up on the bar.  Floyd looks at Geoff, then looks at the bottles.  He says, ‘I know them bottles’.  Then Geoff says, ‘Floyd, you know what the wife said, no skimpy on the rum’.  Floyd responds, ‘better not skimpy on the rum then’.  He fills them half & half J  They laugh.   By the way, it’s always 5 o’clock in Jamaica!

Geoff is the ‘reader’ between the two of us.  When you arrive, you are provided with a map of the resort,  because they tell you ‘You will get lost’.   The place is massively big!  Geoff memorized the map and found where the beach was.  Basically right outside our balcony view.  Duh!  LOL  So can you guess where we went next?  We grabbed our blue towels and walked down to the beautiful sandy beach where the salty Caribbean sea water slowly waved onto shore to touch our feet.   The water was perfect, warm but cooling.  We found some chairs, settled our things under our towels and went for a swim.  This was Geoff’s first time swimming in salt water.  He liked it.

To be honest, this was pretty much what we did for the next couple of days. We made sure to wish all Canadians that we met up with a ‘Happy Canada Day’ on the 1^st of July.   We also had the pleasure of meeting awesome people and feeling completely part of Micheline’s family.

We dined at the Japanese restaurant, Mikado, Monday night.  To our pleasant surprise, Micheline’s sister and her husband were seated with us.  It was our fist dinner together with them.  There were no Japanese chefs or servers.  Our chef was Jamaican and told us he was our Blackanese chef.  I thought that was hilarious.  Cool guy and knows how to entertain.  The food was delicious. It makes me want to return to the Japanese Village in Ottawa.   Good times!

Tuesday, July 3 

We’re are off to our shopping excursion.  Four of us, Bev, Desiree (Newfoundlanders that we met, mother & daughter) and Geoff and myself, jumped on a tour bus driven by a Jamaican hired by Air Canada Vacations.  He took us inland to see the ‘authentic’ Jamaica, not just the perfection of the Bahia Principe Resort.  He brought us well over 2000 feet above sea level.  The scenery was breathtaking as we drove through a one lane windy road.  Half way to our shopping destination, we stopped at a coffee Plantation.  ‘Baronhall Estate’.  It is located in the central mountains of Jamaica.  Not as sophisticated as Jamaica’s world famous Blue Mountain coffee, but is a great buy at almost half the price.  We bought two packages for $30 USD.   Once we heard the story from our special Coffee Tour guide, we continued on our journey.

During the trip, I asked Alton a few questions, for example, how much is the Jamaican dollar worth?  He said that to buy an American dollar would cost $83 Jamaican dollars.  Wowzers!  I also asked what the average income was?  He responded $50 USD/ week.  He also shared that there is no credit in Jamaica.  People build their homes as they get the money.  So It’s not necessarily poverty, it’s just actually really smart.  You own what you can afford and build as you get the money.  No credit cards.  However, they do accept credit cards at the resort and the shopping centre.   Ha!

Once we arrived at the shopping centre, which I nicknamed ‘Tourist Trap’, we bought our rum, 2- 26 ouncers (Captain Morgan Jamaica & Coffee Crème Rum) for $27 USD (yes, that’s $27 for both).  Not a bad price at all.  Geoff also selected 4 T-shirts, one for him and the other 3 for the boys for $20 USD.  I think there were at least a dozen jewellers and the other stores were just a repetition of the same things.

Alton, had previously told us that he would be taking us to the flea market, so I was saving my money for that.  After an hour at the Tourist Trap, we were off to the flea market.  Alton warned us that while at the flea market, that we are to be decisive in what we want, don’t take the first price they offer and learn to say ‘no thank you’.  He gave us 30 minutes.  We bought two wooden plaques, one that has a female face and the word Jamaica and another that has a male face and a dolphin.   We also bought a bag that I really liked and I also managed to weasel a little pot (weed grinder) for $5 (which I had seen at the Tourist Trap for $18).  No, I do not smoke weed, just thought it looked really cool.  All the sellers, who were maybe about 4 or less feet from each other would say ‘Please come in and visit my store, look around, come in, no pressure’.  These ‘stores’ are little shacks no more than 3-4 feet wide and about 8-10 feet deep.   All side by side.  Some didn’t, but most did pressure.  It was a great experience, but I think I said ‘no thank you’ more than I’ve ever said my whole entire life.   The 30 minutes allotted was more than enough, I found it exhausting, but fun at the same time.  It poured rain for the first time since our arrival during our trip back to the resort, but once we arrived, the sun was shining again. 

We have dinner at the French Cuisine restaurant Don Puablo.  The dinner is for the wedding rehearsal to allow for people to mingle and get to know one another.  The food is delicious.  Micheline’s sister approaches me to let me know they will be doing a little thing for her by wrapping her up in toilet tissue to make her look like a bride, then parading her around the resort chanting ‘here comes the bride!’  I then mention to the best man if they are doing anything special for Brad.  They are men, they don’t think of these things.  So Geoff and I brainstorm and come up with something.  We ask the server if they have whipped cream in the back.  They do!  Then I ask him for a plate to put it in...he brings back a real plate.  I tell the poor guy, ‘We’re not looking to kill him, do you have a foam plate?’  He returns with one.  Micheline gets paraded and Brad gets pied.  Awesome!  What’s next?  Theatre & Disco!!!!

Wednesday, July 4^th – Day of the wedding

The nice part about being a guest at the wedding and not being part of the wedding party, is that we could do whatever we wanted all day until we had to get dressed up and ready.  Micheline told me, ‘Do whatever you want, it’s your trip, but you better be at my wedding’.  Yes Ma’am!!! You can probably guess what we did?  We went to the beach and relaxed some more.  I became soon comfortable with wearing a bikini and accepting my body.  I think I rock it!  I have to admit, it took at least 2 – 3 days to unwind and be able to completely chill out.  We had our schedule arranged that at 11:30pm we would head back to the room, to give us time to have lunch at the buffet and then get ready for the wedding at 2pm.

Geoff and I are all spiffed up and ready to see this beautiful wedding unfold and then the phone rings.  It’s 1:25pm and it’s Micheline’s bridesmaid, asking me if I have double sided tape for wardrobe malfunctions.  She had remembered me talking about it a few nights prior.  I do have some!  I run down to Micheline’s sisters room and knock.  They open the door and I ask if I’m allowed to enter.  I hear Micheline say ‘Of Course Dee, I need you!’  I stood frozen for a few seconds trying not to get all teary.  Micheline was standing in front of the patio doors with the sun shining through giving the picturesque portrait of the perfect bride.  She looked elegant!  She noticed my eyes starting to fill up with tears and she said ‘Dee don’t make me cry!’  So I swallowed real fast, cleared my throat and asked her how I could be of service.  I couldn’t believe that I had the honour of seeing her before the wedding itself.  She didn’t like the way her dress laid on  the chest area, so she asked me to pin her dress then tape it to her.  And of course, as I’m trying to adjust her dress around her breast area, the photographers are taking shots of all this.  I laughed and giggled and thought, ‘yup, this will be a good memory’.  Hahahaha!  I completed the job that I was requested to do, and gave the lovely bride a kiss & a hug, the last one I would give her as a single woman.  I love Micheline with all my heart.

I rushed back to the room to meet back up with Geoff.  He is sitting comfortably watching the television, and I say, ‘ come on, we have to go!’  It’s now 1:35pm.  He obeys as usual.  J

As we approach the bottom of the stairs, we meet up with Brad, the groom.  He looks so handsome in the beautiful blue shirt and beige pants.  His girls Ashley and Brianna are dressed in beige dresses with beautiful blue scarves to compliment the men’s shirts.  At this point, I have the opportunity to shoot pictures of the bridal party (minus the bridesmaid, maid of honour & bride) walking down to the Gazebo.  I think to myself, I’m the only one getting this...cool!

We are about 30 guests at the wedding.  We all wait patiently for the bride to arrive and the music to begin.  She has arrived, she wears her soft flowing white veil before her face and she is on her father’s arm as she approaches the man of her dreams, her sweetie, her husband-to-be.

The wedding unfolds perfectly, angelic-like and with so much love in the air.    Photos are being taken, I can hear the clicking of the cameras around me, the wind from the Caribbean sea is blowing in everyone’s hair, it’s hot, but no one seems to care.  All their focus is on Micheline and Brad and the joy that their union has brought to each and every person attending this wedding and to those at home in Canada, US and Haiti that are keeping them in their hearts.  I feel blessed, honoured to have been able to witness their vows and their commitments spoken softly to each other and the love that they share between the two of them.  Micheline never left the touch of either man she loves, she went from her father’s hand directly to her love’s, Brad’s hand.  She will never be alone  ‘You may now Kiss your bride’ is spoken and their lips soon unite into a passionate loving kiss.  The guests cheer loudly, we all feel the love and happiness.   Everyone is proud of Micheline and Brad and wish them wonderful years ahead.

There is a bit of free time between the wedding ceremony and the dinner, Geoff and I decide to take a siesta so that we have enough energy to go party that night.  Dinner is at 6pm at the Italian restaurant.  The food is incredible as always, nothing but the best at that resort.  Micheline is still wearing her beautiful gown and once dinner is finished they have the traditional cutting of the cake.  Everyone is full and are ready for the dance afterwards.

The dance is at the gazebo and everyone seems to be having a blast.  We keep hydrating ourselves as the wonderful breeze from the Caribbean is no longer present.  We dance until 11pm and then say our goodnights to everyone.  What do we do now?  Disco!!! 

It was very late when we returned to our room, I think it was 2am.  What a wonderful time.

Thursday, July 5

Tired from partying the night before, I realized that I was suffering from dehydration.  I started drinking water as much as I could, as much as my pouch could handle.  Geoff and I went down to the beach for a while.  The sea was rough, with big waves coming in.  The red flag warning was up, indicating that you can still swim but to use extreme caution, Geoff and I decided to go in anyways.  The waves were so much fun.  As long as we stayed close to shore, there was no problem.  Geoff went out a bit too far and soon found out that the under current tries to pull you out into the sea.  He certainly got a workout swimming back into shore.  After our swim, we realized how much our bodies took a pounding from partying the night before, so we stayed in the air conditioning for most part of the end of the day.   I think it was perfect the way it was anyways, Geoff and I just wanted to spend time chilling out and we certainly got used to afternoon naps.

Friday, July 6

Looking forward to coming home, we have all our belongings and souvenirs packed up and we are ready for our journey back to Canada.  We met so many nice people while in Jamaica, special mentions go to the bride & groom, without them, this trip would have never happened,  our bartender Floyd, our server Suzette, our house keeper Ann-Marie, Micheline’s photographers Marco & Carmen and to all the family of Micheline’s who showed concern while I was not feeling well on Thursday.  I am completely blessed to now be part of the Jean-François and Zanth families.  They all hold a little place in my heart.  What an amazing experience, I think that I’m now addicted to travelling.  We have already decided that we will be saving up for another trip so that we can have more time to experience the Island of Paradise.

– 6.30 am Jamaica Time, my cell phone wakes us

– 7.30 am Jamaica Time, breakfast at the Buffet 

– 9:00 am Jamaica Time, check out

– 10:10 am Jamaica Time, bus ride to Montego Bay Airport

– 1:00 pm Jamaica Time our plane leaves for Toronto

– 7:45 pm Canada Time, our plane lands for Toronto (an hour ahead)

– 10:45 pm Canada Time, our plane leaves for Ottawa

– 11:45 pm Canada Time, our plane lands in Ottawa and my son picks us up

– 2:00 am Canada Time, home sweet home and in bed

In Jamaica there is No Problem!  Cheers  

Forgetter be Forgotten

This is me to a 'T'...thanks to all the surgeries I've had, my memory is completely affected.
__________________________________________________

Forgetter Be Forgotten?


My forgetter's getting better,
But my rememberer is broke
To you that may seem funny
But, to me, that is no joke

For when I'm 'here' I'm wondering
If I really should be 'there'
And, when I try to think it through,
I haven't got a prayer!

Oft times I walk into a room,
Say 'what am I here for?'
I wrack my brain, but all in vain!
A zero, is my score.

At times I put something away
Where it is safe, but, Gee!
The person it is safest from
Is, generally, me!

When shopping I may see someone,
Say 'Hi' and have a chat,
Then, when the person walks away
I ask myself, 'who the hell was that?

Yes, my forgetter's getting better
While my rememberer is broke,
And it's driving me plumb crazy
And that isn't any joke.

CAN YOU RELATE???

- Author UnKnown

Most Incredible Birthday Ever!

My husband has really won the prize this time!  He managed to get Saturday before my birthay off, which is very rare!  He took me up to see my parents (also to return mom's laptop).  I got a beautiful card from them :)  I also receive a lovely card in the mail from my sister who is in Myrtle Beach.

After brunch and our visit with Mom & Dad, Geoff took me to Ottawa to meet up with Micheline & Brad (who are just recently engaged, CONGATS).  We went for dinner at the Japanese Village Restaurant and it was amazing & so entertaining. 

Our chef was impressive and delightful.  The food was mmmmmmm yummy!  Shrimp, mushrooms, steak, rice, ginger & sesame sauces to dip whatever we wanted to dip into them.

Since you are seated around a huge table with the grills in the middle, you are paired up with people you don't know...so it was also very fun meeting new people.

Oh!  I can't forget to mention the nice warm Sake! 



After our dinner, we chatted a bit with Micheline & Brad, then we parted ways.  Geoff took me to Orleans and surprised me with a hotel room.  Very nice room at the Quality Inn in Orleans.  Then he took me to reunite with my childhood best friend Brigitte.  I hadn't seen her in at least 29 years!  Funny how both of us never forgot each other.  Brigitte has always been in my thoughts and thanks to her sister Véro, I was able to connect with Brigitte's husband and finally visit her.  We shared alot of memories and good times, and also share some of our most recent events in our lives.  She is married to such a lovely man, Guy and also has 3 children.  It's amazing how two people who lived in Elliot Lake can end up miles away from their home town, but now only 1 hour and some away from each other.  I'm so happy that I've reunited with her, what a way to ring in my 41st birthday.

On the day of my birthday, we decided to try and see if our friends Bill and Maria would be home.  It was funny, because we had left a facebook message for Maria to call Geoff's cell.  As Geoff was knocking on their door, his phone rang and he was talking with Maria.  LMAO!  We ended up invading their home and had such a fantastic time.  Maria taught me how to make vegetarian sushi and Micheline joined us too!  Sushi and red wine!  Woot Woot!

I want to take this moment to thank everyone for making my birthday a special one.  I missed out on my 40th due to health issues, and this really made up for it.  I feel so blessed to have such wonderful and loving people in my life.  I'm definetely one very lucky woman.

Cheers!

That Was Then, This is My Now

Thank you to everyone who have supported me throughout my journey.  You all stay true to my heart. I sure had my ups & downs caused by the health related issues I have been suffering for the past two years.

Special thanks to my husband and boys, love you with all my heart, mind & soul.  You never fail me, you always have my back and you guys love me just the way I am.  I'm one lucky woman.

Please watch my personal video by clicking on the link below:

Than Was Then, This is My Now

Song by Jordin Sparks

Happy New Year 2012 everyone!

Dee

I'm a Very Strange Woman!

Yesterday was a very busy day for both Geoff and I!  I worked until 12:30pm, which was so busy that it felt like I had been at work for 15 hours.  Geoff spent most of the morning on the phone with the school, the courts and his ex to get things rolling with the move of his son into our home.

We left for Ottawa around 1pm, stopped to get gas in Kemptville at 112.9/litre.  I arrived early at my appointment around 2:05pm (my appointment had been scheduled for 2:30pm) with my Gynecolgist, but it was good as he was running late.  His office works on a first come first serve basis.  Finally around 3pm, Dr Feigel came in to examine me.  As he walks in to the room, he looks at me, says, 'You're a very strange woman, it doesn't matter what I do for you, you end up with complications', then proceeded on telling me why. I grinned and then clamped up....thinking what the hell else is wrong with me?!!

First thing, he reviewed the test results from the biopsy and also showed me the documentation that indicated that no cancer was present.  It was nice to see it in writing.  Next he proceeded to tell me that the diagnosis of when I was hospitalized in November was incorrect.  It was not endometrioma.

I'm not sure if some of you remember reading my previous post shortly after my surgery in April to remove my ovaries, but I mentioned that they indicated in the OR documentation that they 'believe' they had removed both ovaries, however were not able to confirm the removal of the right ovary.  Well, the right ovary that was missing in action....they found a small piece of it, they call it ovarian tissue.  So......the little bugger is growing.

Therefore, to explain what happened in November....  Since I still have a trace of ovarian tissue, I'm still producing estrogen.  With that, plus taking estrogen pill,  I ended up with Estrogen overdose.  What's next?  I went for blood work as he needs to determine exactly how much estrogen I am producing.  In three months I return for an ultrasound.  Keeping my fingers crossed that my ovary doesn't grow anymore.  I'm actually chuckling about the whole thing as if this continues, everything might just grow back and Geoff and I will be able to have a baby.......NOT!!! LMAO!!! 

After the appointment, we went over to Zach's so that I could give him a care package of my baking & cooking.  I'm sure he's enjoying it :)  We then went to Costco to buy some ground beef & ground pork as I will be making Tourtières with my mom on Saturday.

After Costco, we met Ryan and his mom at Tim Horton's to officially have him move in with us.  We finally arrived home around 7pm.  It was a busy day!

Thank you for reading about my life that never has a dull moment.

Cheers!

Dee :)

Time for Christmas Decorations & Holiday Cheer!

Before I start this blog, I must say this first & foremost:

'ARRIVE ALIVE, DON'T DRINK & DRIVE'

My days have been so full of activity, there's never a dull moment in my life.  Geoff and I will be celebrating 3 years of being together on December 10th, his birthday is December 20th and then Chrstimas on the 25th.  WHOA!! Lot's of partying! 

Christmas this year, and I'm very pleased to say, will be spent with my family in McDonalds Corners (my sister will still be in Myrtle Beach sunning it up!).  I'm looking forward to it as it's been a very long time.  I'll be going up a couple days prior to Christmas to give my Mom a hand with the cooking & baking.  On December 17th, I'll be heading up to there to help Mom make some Meat Pies (Tourtières)...mmmmmmmmm!  Mom has always been such a wonderful cook, so I'm sure she'll be proud of my cooking abilities.

I'm not really completely in the Christmas mood, but I think I'm planning on putting the Christmas tree up tonight.  Hopefully, Geoff & Brodie will want to help me.  Haven't started any Christmas shopping either...not even sure what to get anybody this Year. 

But... let's rewind a bit and talk about this week.  Tomorrow, I'm leaving work early, around 1:30pm, to go for my MRI at the Ottawa Civic.  Everything has been going very well since they've taken me off the estrogen/hormones.  I'm having a little bit of trouble sleeping at night because of the night sweats, but I'll deal with it one night at a time.  After the MRI, I'll be meeting up with my sister Micheline and then we'll be off to a Party Light event at Maria's.  Once we've been candled-out (LOL), we'll be heading out dancing!  YAY! 

With all these appointments, I've been working 6:30am - 3:00pm each day to make up the time.  It's been tough getting up earlier every morning.  It's amazing how even 30 mintues can make a huge difference.

December 14th, I will be heading to Ottawa once again to get the results from the MRI.  I'm sure everything will be great as I've been feeling alot better!

So.....since this month is going to be a busy one, I want to take the time to

wish all of you a very

Merry Christmas! 

For all others who don't celebrate Christmas:

Happy Winter Solstice
Happy Bodhi Day
Happy Hanukkah
Happy Day of the Return of the Wandering Goddess
Happy Saturnalia
Happy Eid ul-Fitr
Happy Kwanzaa

I'm sure there are many more!

Cheers!
Dee :)

Focusing on the Positive

It's been about two weeks since my last fall-out with my health.  It has been a bit challenging, since I've been thrown into menopause once again.  I'm taking a non-hormonal medicine called Dixarit for hot flashes (credit to my friend Leona).  Although it doesn't seem to help much with my emotional mood swings, I'm greatful for not having to sleep in a pool of sweat!  Besides that, I'm still bleeding a little but only about 1/4 teaspoon per day, so nothing to really concern myself about.  I do have to admit, wearing a pad/liner was not on my list of things, that's for sure....feels strange having to wear them again.

So I carry on, focusing on the positive which are that the bleeding is not as bad as it was, I'm off Dilaudid (which is great since I had so much trouble last time I was on it), I can return to work on Monday (which oddly enough I do miss) and I seem to have regained some of my appetite.

Again, I thank everyone who sent me notes and well wishes, I truly appreciate the support.  Now I still wait for the pathology results from the biopsy, prayers & words of kindness & support are always welcome.  I will be sure to update once I receive the results and have shared with my family.

I would also like to convey a special thank you to those who opened their homes and provided a place for my husband to crash while I was in the hospital.  Thank you Micheline and Brad, Bill and Maria, your generosity is greatly appreciated!!

Thank you to Kelly and Bruce for picking up my phone charger and mailing it to me, you definetely went above & beyond and your friendship means a great deal to me.  You are very kind people.

Cheers,
Dee :)

Just When I Thought it Was Over

Just when I thought it was over and my health was at it's best, a black cloud once again appeared over my head.  It all seemed to start on Sunday October 25th.  I felt strange, run down, thinking that I really needed more sleep.  A migraine started and took a couple of days to get rid of it.  I missed work Monday morning for a couple of hours & Tuesday then returned on Wednesday.  Still not feeling 100%, I thought to myself that I must have a bug or something.

Friday the October 28, 2011, the day after my 2nd year surgiversary, I felt cramps, identical to menstrual cramps.  I told Geoff about it and we kind of laughed it off, suggesting it would be 'Immaculate Conception'.  Saturday, I felt a little worse, but tried to ignore it.

That's when things started getting a bit worse.  Sunday morning, October 28th, I was making breakfast with Geoff when I felt like I had pee'd my pants.  I didn't say anything to Geoff, and quietly went to check in the bathroom.  I hadn't pee'd, I was bleeding.  I called Geoff to the bathroom to show him.  Reason for showing him...I had a full hystertomy, bleeding from down below is NOT supposed to happen.

Geoff and I had planned to go to Westport on Sunday and I really didn't want to cancel our plans.  So I thought, I'll throw a pad on, and I'm sure it will all go away.  I guess I was somewhat in denial.

When we got home Sunday late afternoon, I went back to the bathroom and the bleeding was worse.  I again told Geoff and he said that we were going to emergency right away....and we did.

We went to Brockville emergency, where I was examined by a doctor who was unfamiliar with the anatomy of a woman who's had a full hysterectomy.  This was not comforting to me.  I was handed two antibiotics and two extra strength tylenol and was told to return to the hospital emergency for an ultrasound for 8am in the morning.

The ultrasound technolgist was very nice and soon realized that my right side was in horrible pain.  They couldn't locate my appendix but found a mass on my right side where my right ovary should have been.  They couldn't identify what this mass was.

I returned to emergency to discuss my results with the doctor.  They said they didn't have a clue what was wrong with me and did not know where and what was causing the bleeding.  They gave me an Rx for Dilaudid, told me to keep my feet up, and referred me to an OBGYN in Brockville.  After reading the reviews on this doctor, I decided to contact my own OBGYN in Ottawa, which the scheduled me for an appointment Friday at 8:30am.

Tuesday and Wednesday I stayed home, was keeping the pain controlled with the Dilaudid, but by Wednesday afternoon I only had 1 pain killer left.  Geoff worked t'ill 7 Wednesday night, but when he arrived home and saw my condition, he suggested we go to emergency again.  I told him I would only go to the Ottawa Civic, where I knew I would get some answers.

We arrived at the Ottawa Civic around 9 pm and they immediately took me into Urgent Care.  I have to admit that I was really scared.  I didn't know what to think, bleeding where I'm not supposed to really was raising alot of flags.  I had two doctors examine me and they were not pleased with what they saw.  By midnight, they decided to do a biopsy of my vaginal wall.  The 2nd year student warned me that it would be very painful.  And it WAS!!!  I would rather give birth to my boys again.

Obviously the reason behind the biopsy was to rule out cancer.  You can imagine how much this was freaking me out.  The first thing I thought of and told Geoff was:  "Oh my God, how will I tell the boys if it's cancer?"  And I began to cry.  Geoff immediately came to comfort me and spoke so soothingly that I calmed down.  He said "We will deal with that if we need to, right now we don't know for sure".  I was so scared, I was trembling.  I didn't want to have to put my kids through another hard time, they've been through so much in their lives already.  The doctors came back in and said that I would not be going home, that they had already admitted me, however, I would have to stay in Urgent Care until they found me a bed.  I was a bit pleased with that since I would have my own private room for the night.

The next morning, Thursday, they sent me for an MRI and later another ultrasound.  This confirmed two large masses, one on my vaginal wall and one attached to my bowel.  They concluded that I was suffering from Endometrioma.  Apparently, a rare condition with women who have had a full hysterectomy.  The culprit to the endometrioma, HORMONES!  The hormones I was taking for menopause after my ovaries were removed in April this year, was feeding the endometrioma. They discharged me Friday morning after an examination to confirm that the bleeding had slowed down already.

I am not allowed to at anytime in my life take any kind for hormones/estrogen, as the endometrioma will return.  So now, I deal with the hot flashes and other side effects of menopause.  Am I complaining?  NO!!!  I rather deal with that, then to have found out that I have cancer.  The results of the biopsy are not in yet, but I'm confident that there is no cancer, that this was a very good scare and nothing else.  We should know within 1 - 6 weeks.

I return for another MRI in 1 month to confirm that the endometriomas have shrunk in size, and then for a follow-up appointment with my OBGYN.

Thank you for all the prayers, words of support and mostly thank you to my husband Geoff who is there for me no matter what, and who loves me unconditionally. 

Now for relaxation and re-cuperation, I must take some time off from work, once again.  I wish things could have been different.  I am a strong woman, but I have to admit, this has really pushed me over.  I am at my witts end with sickness and medical problems. 

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Dee